A Deeper Look at the 10 Hills:
Leave the Masks
October 2014
Don’t just pretend to
love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is
good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each
other.
-- Romans 12:9-10
Reflect
Leaving the masks off is a terrifying prospect, especially if we are not used to walking around with exposed faces, exposed hearts, exposed mistakes, exposed lives. We only find the courage to step into authenticity when we are relatively sure it will be safe.
The key to safety is love – honest-to-goodness, no exceptions, no boundaries, no ifs, ands, or buts, straight-up love. Love opens to door to authenticity, because love tells us we will not be weighed, measured, and found wanting. Love accepts us as we are, warts and all. And sincere love stirs a willingness to serve and honor each other.
But this affection sounds otherworldly and unrealistic (you might say), so can I actually begin to experience this in my own life?
Rewind
The good news is that authentic community is definitely within arms’ reach. It is not a pie-in-the-sky thought. The better news is that once we begin to leave the masks and choose transparency, we will find friends to walk with us through the difficult and joyous moments in our life. We will discover that life together is the way God intended us to exist, and that alone is never the best.
But there is bad news too, and it’s a tough pill to swallow. Most of the time, we will have to be the first to pull off our masks. We will have to risk being authentic first. In rare occasions, we will come across people or communities that will open the doors to transparency first, but they are the exception. We must risk first.
React
Living a mask-free life and risking first doesn’t start with bearing our souls though. It starts in a different place.
1) We begin leaving our masks by intentionally investing kindness in others, with no expectations of getting anything back.
Remember, it is sincere love that paves the pathway to authenticity. We each have multiple opportunities to share love in our daily lives, if we will only open our eyes.
When our coworker is clearly having a bad day, we have a choice: we can avoid them, or we can bring them a cup of coffee in the hopes of bringing cheer and hope into their lives. The next time we see a toddler screaming in the store, we can whisper to the frazzled parent, “I remember these days. It gets better. I promise.”
These simple acts of kindness open highways of authenticity in our own hearts. We begin to see how stepping outside ourselves and sowing love into others is meaningful. We learn afresh that it is never ideal to be or feel alone.
2) At some point, we just have to tear off the mask and risk.
There is no easy way to enter into authenticity, but we can be wise about it. We can choose to remove our masks among friends who share our values and genuinely care about us. In doing this, we minimize the risk and increase the chance of finding safety and relationship.
A small group is perhaps the ideal place to remove our masks for the first time. So maybe, next time our small group leader asks if anyone is struggling with something, we can raise our hand and share. When it’s time to pray for each other, don’t ask for prayer for our Great Aunt Ruth. Instead, let’s be honest and ask for prayer for our depression, our unemployment, our marriage, or our addiction. Let’s be honest, and we will find the help we need to pull through. Because that’s the benefit of leaving the masks – we find community.
-- Romans 12:9-10
Reflect
Leaving the masks off is a terrifying prospect, especially if we are not used to walking around with exposed faces, exposed hearts, exposed mistakes, exposed lives. We only find the courage to step into authenticity when we are relatively sure it will be safe.
The key to safety is love – honest-to-goodness, no exceptions, no boundaries, no ifs, ands, or buts, straight-up love. Love opens to door to authenticity, because love tells us we will not be weighed, measured, and found wanting. Love accepts us as we are, warts and all. And sincere love stirs a willingness to serve and honor each other.
But this affection sounds otherworldly and unrealistic (you might say), so can I actually begin to experience this in my own life?
Rewind
The good news is that authentic community is definitely within arms’ reach. It is not a pie-in-the-sky thought. The better news is that once we begin to leave the masks and choose transparency, we will find friends to walk with us through the difficult and joyous moments in our life. We will discover that life together is the way God intended us to exist, and that alone is never the best.
But there is bad news too, and it’s a tough pill to swallow. Most of the time, we will have to be the first to pull off our masks. We will have to risk being authentic first. In rare occasions, we will come across people or communities that will open the doors to transparency first, but they are the exception. We must risk first.
React
Living a mask-free life and risking first doesn’t start with bearing our souls though. It starts in a different place.
1) We begin leaving our masks by intentionally investing kindness in others, with no expectations of getting anything back.
Remember, it is sincere love that paves the pathway to authenticity. We each have multiple opportunities to share love in our daily lives, if we will only open our eyes.
When our coworker is clearly having a bad day, we have a choice: we can avoid them, or we can bring them a cup of coffee in the hopes of bringing cheer and hope into their lives. The next time we see a toddler screaming in the store, we can whisper to the frazzled parent, “I remember these days. It gets better. I promise.”
These simple acts of kindness open highways of authenticity in our own hearts. We begin to see how stepping outside ourselves and sowing love into others is meaningful. We learn afresh that it is never ideal to be or feel alone.
2) At some point, we just have to tear off the mask and risk.
There is no easy way to enter into authenticity, but we can be wise about it. We can choose to remove our masks among friends who share our values and genuinely care about us. In doing this, we minimize the risk and increase the chance of finding safety and relationship.
A small group is perhaps the ideal place to remove our masks for the first time. So maybe, next time our small group leader asks if anyone is struggling with something, we can raise our hand and share. When it’s time to pray for each other, don’t ask for prayer for our Great Aunt Ruth. Instead, let’s be honest and ask for prayer for our depression, our unemployment, our marriage, or our addiction. Let’s be honest, and we will find the help we need to pull through. Because that’s the benefit of leaving the masks – we find community.
